History of the Chinewrde Marching Band 1990

The Accident and the March onwards and upwards

Tragedy struck in 1990, with the loss of the founding member Myrtle Appassionato. She had created a fantastic band and encouraged them to have an input in how they performed, where they performed and what they performed. This encouragement was to contribute to her downfall!

When Stixx joined the band he was immediately liked and is still a popular figure within the band today. His personality and background has influenced his showmanship qualities and therefore from his professional stance within the Marine Corps he strives to be precise and perfect at all times. His time with the cheerleading group has also equipped him with a keen eye for elaborate formations and how to organise them. Therefore during the beginning of 1990, Stixx had been introducing exotic formations for the band to perform during their many gig’s.

Meanwhile, Dotty had also taken to introducing new qualities to the band’s performance. It is at this time that she started to talk about the tribe she was part of as a child – Sqwistpe. It turns out that this tribe was a group of orphans who lived in the workhouse and they communicated using high pitched squeals and squeaks. Dotty had transcribed the various squeaks and squeals into a type of language and could use her whistle to communicate in a similar way. So in 1990 Dorothy started to introduce the concept of using her whistle to communicate with the rest of the band on directions, beat, speed and various other types of valuable information. She felt she needed to do more with this exceptional instrument than just the first note in Yakety Sax.

Also during this year, Ann had started drinking heavily due to her second divorce and the band was trying desperately to keep her sober. The trumpet section was becoming increasingly difficult to work with; their volatile behaviour was getting much worse. Barbara had put on such a lot of weight that she had to keep resting in between her notes and finally Stixx’s formations were getting more and more dangerous as the year progressed.

Late in 1990 the disorientation and disorganisation took its toll. During a very difficult formation for the theme tune to the Pink Panther disaster struck. The formation consisted of a human pyramid - marching extremely slowly - with Myrtle on top conducting, while various other members of the band clicked their fingers to keep time. This was supposed to last for the entire song, but the trumpet section remarked that the band would look stupid and Sophia added that it was dangerous and she especially did not want her mother that high up. Barbara was complaining that the weight of people on her shoulders was taking its toll on her already weak ankles. With all the complaints and commotion from the trumpet section, and Dotty’s incessant whistling which no one understood – let alone reacted to, an argument ensued.

The Chinewrde Marching Band was entangled in a human pyramid while arguing with each other. They were still linked to each other but moving in different directions and at different speeds; thus they all came tumbling down instruments and all. Unfortunately Sophia was trying to help her mother down from the pyramid before they all toppled and she too was caught within the heap of band members and instruments. When she eventually disentangled herself she found that Lady Fleur’s drumsticks had been embedded into her legs, from this day forth Sophia was unable to walk. Much more tragic than that, was the realisation that they had lost their founding member Myrtle Appassionato.

Myrtle was later found crushed to death under Barbara and her tuba - the Chinewrde Marching Band were without a leader. After the funeral, they scattered Myrtle’s ashes over the Abbey Fields so that she would remain a part of Kenilworth forever. And In January 1991 the band voted Dorothy Crochet as the new leader of the Chinewrde Marching Band. Dorothy happily took to the role and continued in Myrtle’s footsteps.

Official Biographer – Godfrey Yammerstein: A Profile of a Great British Marching Band